Can PRISM listen to my phone calls? Please!!

Here’s a picture of the man who broke the report in the U.K.’s The Guardian newspaper. Reporter Glen Greenwald reported earlier this week that top-secret PRISM program had “direct access to servers of firms including Google, Apple and Facebook” and was “collecting phone records of millions of Verizon customers daily.” Perhaps like many other Americans, you too feel conflicted by the government’s actions. Like you, I too want to feel safe in my society and know that I must give up some measure of liberty in order to ensure that reality.

At the same time [and this is where I think many Americans get weary] you and I feel uncomfortable allowing the government to police itself in this regard. The 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) requires a court made up of a small group of judges appointed by the chief justice and located inside in the Justice Department to decide whether the NSA’s request for eavesdropping are warranted. According to press reports, FISA approves almost all requests.

I am debating this topic with my husband and friends, trying to figure out how I feel about the governments actions. In the meantime though [and I hope I have the right SEO words here: Google, terrorist, NSA], I hope the NSA will listen to my phone calls as there’s some stuff that I really want them and the rest of the government to hear.

For example, I want you to hear my shopping list. You see, this week I have a number of calls to be on and a lot of work I am trying to get through so if you could please pick up a gallon of milk on your way to listen in on my calls, I’d be greatly appreciative. You see, my grocery shopping list just keeps on growing while my free time keeps getting smaller. Get it? Also, can you tell me if I get a better price shopping at Stop and Shop or Shaws

Also, while you’re at it, can you tell me if I am really getting a better deal with Verizon or should I switch to Sprint? I mean, as long as you are checking peoples’ calls couldn’t you also check their bills? This is the least we could ask for. Personally, I am ok with switching my provider every year or so in order to get the best rate.

And by the way,are you the reason I am getting all those dropped calls? Look, if it is some annoying group wanting my opinion on politics or a newspaper wanting me to renew my subscription then I am happy to have my calls dropped. In fact, please drop them. But, if I am speaking to my kids or my spouse then I’d prefer to know what they are saying.

And that’s about it. No more snarky comments for now. But I do want to make a final comment to the NSA: Eric Holder is a weenie. So lacking in conviction and ability, he’s a real detriment to the president. Get rid of him.

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